Maybe it's just me.
I never found the need to talk about my feelings on the whole human race in an excessive, philosophical way. Why people do things. Why we're going where we're going...
Is life really a pointless battle? Or totally pointless? Is there something to fight for? Are we always struggling and why? Can we fight fate? Does heaven await us? Is the devil everywhere?
These questions and many variations of them are posed seemingly endlessly by internet idols and intellectuals and people who wish they were. They read books their college teachers and friends and own personal interests turned them onto, and mention author names to me... only for me to shrug and say I've never heard of them.
Then I tell them about the fictional character from this anime or comic book I am currently fascinated with, that presents to me many interesting questions about life and other such things. Then they say, oh, that's been covered in this great literature or movie by so and so. And somehow, I am left with the feeling that what I was talking about wasn't important enough because I didn't voice my overintellectualized thoughts and disections of it. Because it was from a comic book or an anime. Something from Japan that stupid fat nerds obsess over, and not created by a dead genius.
Existentialism and cynicism and futility and a thousand other subjects...
Why am I cheapened to some by having such big interest in the certain things I do? Why am I not taken seriously or thought of strangely because I am eccentric and optimistic? Optimistic is not naive. Optimistic is hopeful. It is not stupid. It is not foolish. It is not setting myself up for failure or disappointment when I already have the pessimist view sitting on my other side. I already assessed the situation and chose the positive. I am a gemini. I am capable of understanding two conflicting things. I can know good with bad. I can see dark with light.
I'm not a child. I don't want to be righteous. I don't need to proclaim my views of the human condition like they are astounding, intelligent, and very important revelations, when it is all so obvious and expressed a thousand times over before. It frustrates me that people who do are made idols. Thought of as something more than they are.
I don't know what to say.
With some people, I'm not impressed. You are old, you are not edgy. I don't think you are mentally stimulating because you can philosophize for hours or make brief, witty posts about your current observations. Maybe it's just what you're talking about. But you're not interesting. And I can only wonder how so many other people are infatuated.
I think I'm just jealous.